Procrastination, Amnesia & then procrastination again....

This is a Tag I had received ages and ages ago from Naperville Mom of Ponderings of a Porcupine. Kept pushing it to the back of the cybershelf and then conveniently forgot all about it!

A fews days ago, a blogpost by a co-blogger regarding the same tag restored my amnesiac memory. Well, the chronic procrastinator that I am, again considerable time was spent dilly-dallying ..and now finally, here I am with the Tag...

The TAG is : A story revolving around the 6th Picture of the 6 Folder in my (digital) Photo-Basket ....

A down-in-the-dumps AD with tears streaking down her cheeks as her friends look on ....

On the morning of her Playschool's Annual Day, the excited kid was all eager to go to school and 'perform'. But the moment she entered the school gates, and saw the deluge of parents and grandparents waiting at the Shamiana for the programme to begin, my 'lion-indoors-but-timid-mouse-outdoors' AD burst out into tears and clung on to me, panicstricken....As I took her to their classroom which had her friends, teachers and ayahs 'waiting in the wings', she cooled down considerably. The little friends, wiped a tear or two and tried their best to cheer her up! It was such an amazing sight to see these three yrs somethings displaying such affection and camaraderie....I had my camera with me and clicked!

Of the many lovable pics clicked that morning, the above is the 6th Pic of the 6th Folder in my (Digital) PhotoBasket!

I am supposed to tag 6 persons....but I'll keep it open to ALL!

Whoever takes it up, do drop a line at my comment box so that I can stop by at your Blog to see your 6th Pic in your 6th Photo Folder!!

Mommification - Part II

"The world is full of women blindsided bythe unceasing demands of motherhood, still flabbergasted by how a job can be terrific and tortuous. " - Anna Quindlen

Motherhood...the most wonderful yet difficult of all responsibilities taken up by a woman.....the creation and nurturing of life, the shaping of a personality and the grooming of an individual.

Joy, ecstasy, anticipation, trepidation and panic...the first nine months of the process of creation was a medley of all these emotions and more...(Read here)

But when I first held this tiny scrap of a human, all I initially felt was wonder and awe. And then I fell in love.....forever and ever, never to recover!

And now my blogger friend, Imp's Mom, asks me to jot down five things I love about being a Mom.

In a sea of emotions, when I'm asked to pick five little scoops, what do I pick?

* Becoming a more sensitive and aware human....yes. Motherhood has made me a slightly better person. More aware and sensitive of my surroundings, to the environment, fellow humans in general and more grateful to the Almighty for having given me so much...

* The sensation when I see her face lighting up with joy the moment she spots me in a crowd or after the day in her school!

* When the drama queen that she is, asks me everyday, in her mushiest of voices, "Ma can you take me in your lap and put me to sleep?" ("Ma, tumi ki amaye kole niye ghoom parate paaro?). It's a daily routine, but everyday, my heart melts hearing these words.

*And when I pick her up to put her to sleep, I love the way she wraps herself like a little octopus and while pretending to go to sleep, keeps on with her non-stop chatter. (Of course, daily, the lovey-dovey cootchie cooing ends with a whack on her bums which FINALY and ACTUALLY puts her to sleep!)

*Reliving the little moments of childhood...the joy of playing with friends, the sorrow of being brushed aside or bullied, the angst of a fight, the demands for a her favourite food (which keeps changing) in her lunch box, the playacting where she's the Mom and all her toys are her children ! It's like I'm growing up again, through her , with her....

But Motherhood is always not sugary and sweet, it is not always showering love and indulgences..their are moments of anger and frustrations, tackling unruly behaviour, stubbornness and tantrums, difficult moments and tough decisions, anxious, heart wrenching moments of illness and pain.....

As it has been said ....
"Loving a child doesn't mean giving into all his whims; to love him is to bring out the best in him, to teach him to love what is difficult"

And with this thought, the Mommified me, carries on in the wondrous journey of motherhood...where as she grows,
basking in our love,
moulded by our teachings,
imbibing the influence of her surroundings,
manifesting her inherited genetic designs,

we (SD & I) grow with her....
maturing as persons,
learning the lessons of life,
unlearning bookish sermons and
relearning the world from a different perspective altogether....


And finally, I pass on this tag to five wonderful mothers....to share 5 things they LOVE about being a MOM
Naperville Mom, Sucharita, Roshni, Reflections and Reks

Off to a new start, with a prayer on my lips....

The D-day is almost round the corner!

With the arrival of the new uniforms, new books, crispy brown paper rolls, my excitement knows no bounds!!

I can finally take a long breath and state that the raving, ranting and tension of the past few months (here and here) are officially over. There was some confusion, nail biting sessions in between when we had to choose between the two schools into which AD had got admission. The choice was made after much deliberation and head breaking ...as if it was not admission to LKG but deciding and finalising a career choice!! Huh!! (Never imagined I would become a hyper Mom!!)

So my little one is on the threshold of a new world.....a world, which along with our love, support and guidance, will shape her into the person she will grow up to be....

There will be happy moments and sad.

Good times and bad....
Moments of achievements, success and highs.
Some of disappointments, frustrations and anxious sighs.
Bitter fights, scary scoldings, taunting and teasing.
Lunch times bursting with glee....eating, sharing, games and scraped knee!
Homework & tests, exams & marks end either in
Unbridled ecstasy or despair ..oh so stark!
Inspiring teachers who make learning a joy;
And devil's incarnates will be there too...devious tactics who love to employ.
Discipline and moral science,
Bunking classes and acts of defiance.
Favourite subjects and lousy ones.
Lots of Friends and loads of fun....
School life will be all this and more.
A storehouse of knowledge, values and wisdom galore
Hope my princess grows and imbibes
all that it takes to lead a sincere and honest life...

Summer Holidays

"Everybody has a summer holiday
Doing things they always wanted to"..... crooned Cliff Richard half a century ago.

And I couldnt agree more.....Summer Holidays or Goromer Chhuti were indeed the favourite and longest of all vacations during our growing up years. An almost two month long break from school, studies and schedule. Cousins coming over from different parts of the country. Lazy afternoons filled with games and gossip.

-Hide and seeks in the nooks and crannies of the attic and staircases, under the beds and behind the giant almirahs;
-climbing guava trees and scraping knees;
-listening to the radio in warm summer afternoons, all heads jostling for space right in front of the radio;
-recording our voices on the blank cassettes inserted into the coveted tape recorder;
-buying ice cream sticks from the ice-cream vendor who would take a break from his cart pushing right in front of our gate and call out "K..W...O....O...L....I...T...Y" repeatedly till we kids compelled our mothers to let us out and buy the orange or chocolate fudge sticks from him;
-sitting on the terrace oblivious to the blazing hot sun, gorging on the 'stolen' homemade mango/tamarind pickles, which had been put out on the terrace for the sun to give it a finishing touch;
-the Poila Boishaakh (Bengali New Years celebration on 14th/15th of April) celebrations and get-togethers....
Memories of summer holidays are full of fun, frolic and laughter. Days spent at cousins' or 'best' friends' places, family reunions and sometimes a family vacation.
Of course, the fights and squabbles, teasing and taunting, anger and making up were also there in all its glory...but that's what gave summer holidays its multihued tinge!

***

As I see my little AD growing up in a nuclear world so different from the one I grew up in, without her extended family to pamper and indulge her, I feel a trifle sad that she's missing out on the companionship and camaraderie with cousins and siblings that we took for granted. Her Summer Holidays too, are poles apart from our summer holidays.

In her world, routine is not abandoned for a month or two. The scheduled life goes on....The long and relaxed, fun-filled vacations are replaced by choc-a-block activity filled summer camps. Not camps in the true sense of the word, but planned, 'scientifically' chalked out programmes to keep kids busy in a host of creative lessons and activities. A continuation of her playschool sans the academics....I wonder whether they are half as much fun as the impromptu and myriad activities we indulged in during our prolonged vacations, eons ago....I hope so.

Times have changed. We parents are busy. And corporate jobs do not give us the luxury of long vacations. And living in a city with no family and equally busy friends as our social network, with cousins and extended families scattered all over the globe, summer holidays of yore have become an almost extinct phenomenon.

So the much advertised, exhorbitantly priced summer camps are not an option but more a necessity!

Last week as I went on a short trip to attend the last rites of my Mamu, AD met some of her cousins for the first time...Dadas (elder brother), didis (elder sister), bon and bhai (sister and brother). They played, they fought, they squabbled over a box of crayons or a teddy or just fought for the sake of fighting. They made up and played again....to fight all over again.....
I was glad ... to give her a slice of life as it was when we were kids. To cherish the companionship, the unadulterated love, the complex rivalry, the bowing down to say sorry, to resume normalcy and let bygones be bygones...

I hope every year, if not a long leisurely one, at least a fun filled brief holiday with cousins is what I can gift my AD...so that she grows up with her own handycam stored memories of summer holidays in contrast to our album filled with sepia tinged snapshots.....

"We're all going on a summer holiday.
No more working for a week or two.
Fun and laughter on a summer holiday...."

Morning Cheer!

Putting her to bed and making her sleep is a perennial fight! Various strategies, carrot dangling, and more often than not a whack succeed in making her succumb. Yesterday night the tussle was on in full swing, and AD was at her crankiest best, throwing a tantrum so that she be allowed to watch Jungle Book. I tried to calm myself and instead of the light whack strategy, decided to 'talk' to her. I sweetly told her (while grinding my teeth in anger within...the time was 11:45pm and my patience level was at its lowest ebb!!!) that she needed to sleep and sleep quick so that she could wake up with a smiling face just like Mowgli does!

Surprisingly...she slept soon after. Whether my words had any effect or she was too tired to resist sleep any longer, I know not.

I woke up today morning with a 'HA HA HA' sound by my side. (Believe me, it was really the theatrical HA HA HA!).
My AD, with her eyes closed, was laughing out loud. And she instantly opened her eyes, shining with happiness, and informed me ...
"Ma, shokaal hoye gechhe...dekho ami Mowgli'r moto haashi haashi ghoom theke uthechhi...ekhon ami Mowgli dekhte parbo!!" ("Ma, it's morning! I have woken up with a smile/laugh, just like Mowgli....I can watch Mowgli now!!")

I was too stunned to react...was she dreaming of the morning cheer & Mowgli all night??

Einstein @ 5 or Tagore @ 4? Make a choice and make it FAST!!!

AD’s playschool cum Daycare Centre has been recently acquired by a franchisee run company. In its previous avatar, it was a Mom and Pop establishment ..an informal setup with excellent infrastructure, lot of space, warm and friendly teachers and care givers and a high standard of hygiene. In its present and more glamorous avatar, it has assumed a pseudo corporate getup! Amidst the various improvement schemes, a newsletter- cum- group mail system has been introduced through which we get notices, information about the school & activities and also feedbacks sent by various parents and guardians are circulated to all other parents.

Today I received one such email …a feedback from a parent singing paeans about the school . I was about to click the window shut, when something in the latter part of the mail caught my eye and I couldn’t help but read on….a wish list for his 9 month old baby enrolled in the daycare.
Just reproducing the relevant part of the email :

“Wish list from our side:
1. In addition to the good care that day care kids are getting, we will really appreciate if some brain development programs are conducted for kids of age 6 months and more. We attended a session in our office from K...Gl... school staff (http://k...gl....com/). Please go through the website and see their presentation. We are not suggesting you to copy them, but we feel there is no harm in getting good things from anyone. They have some programs for brain development based on research done by an American scientist Glenn Doman. They claim that babies of 6 months can learn reading. Curious to dig further, we searched internet and found many web sites and research articles that support this fact. For example: see the video (with sound ON) at the home page of this website - http://www.y....c...com/ . Also there are lots of videos available on you tube...."

I was initially amused and then wondered, where are we heading? Is it really needed….a 6 month old baby reading?

What’s next? PhD in Astrophysics at the age of 5yrs?

Why cant we let babies be what they are supposed to be ....just babies! And let them grow at their own pace!!!

The sky high and sometimes impossible dreams parents dream on behalf of their kids put tremendous pressure on the kids to perform. Some kids either baulk under the burden of expectations or just give up on life in general. With students' suicides on the rise, isnt it time, we, as parents introspect....restrain our ambitions from setting unattainable targets for the child and let them 'grow' and 'bloom' first into good human beings and not mere degree spewing/money-churning machines.

BRAIN JAM

A writer's block we've heard of!! But a blogger's block? What's that?? Well....When bloggers like me, who have nothing earth shattering to write about, who just blabber away whatever comes to mind, who love indulging their latest whim of blogging, are at a loss of things to say, that is, I guess, a BLOGGERS' BLOCK!! The problem is I want to blog but my grey cells up there arent co-operating...hence bear with me..indulge me please!!!!

Life has been terribly boring of late. Well, not quite. Friday - Saturday were quite different - exciting, if I may say so. Saturday was spent celebrating Saraswati Puja and especially AD’s ‘Haathe Khori’ or formal initiation into education with the blessings of the Goddess of Learning. Friday evening was spent in doing the preparation and groundwork for the religious fervour we were subjected to the next day.
Realisation dawned on me that I was growing old. How else could I explain, why all of a sudden I had become such a sucker for tradition and ritual!! Agreed, I never was an atheist or the ridiculously rebellious kind. But I don’t remember being a stickler for the intricate rituals associated with our Pujas and Prasad preparations. In the past I was quite happy being the onlooker. Was it the parenting bug within me which was making me do all this under its spell? Just to ensure that AD grows up with bits and pieces of tradition....who knows?

Well, all went well...except the fact that the three hour long puja ritual during which it was mandatory to sit on the floor cross-legged left my legs and feet numb and subsequently aching! Another proof of my advancing years!!!

Though winter was conspicuous by its total absence from this city, at least the last few months were pleasant. With February just having begun, one would expect a few more weeks of pleasant evenings. But Global Warming or sheer callousness of the weather Gods, whichever way one looks at it, Summer has set in!! Fans and Air-conditioners have begun their round the clock duties!!
Wonder if this trailer to the scorching summer months ahead, has anything to do with my dysfunctional brain cells!!

Mothering HANUMAN

Remember my blog entry on School Admissions?
Well…the tension has now reached a peak.
The actual interviews / interaction sessions have begun. And my worst fears are all coming true.
* For 30-40 seats, there are about 1500 applicants, if not more.
* My daughter’s unpredictability is on the rise.
School No.1: She refused to say hello. And that’s not all, upon being offered candies, not only did she grab a handful, she wouldn’t say THANK YOU! We were red-faced with embarrassment.
We didn’t want to create a scene and left it at that. On our way back, when I asked her why she was so unresponsive, her casual “I wasn’t in the mood for conversation” (Kotha bolar mood chhilo na) left me dumbstruck.
School No.2 : While going to the school, I was having my usual chat with my little girl. The normal stuff we talk about everyday on our way to and from her playschool but in a slightly more structured manner....like her name and colours and other stuff she may be asked in the interview. She was particpating in her normal enthusiastic manner. I was relieved but the butterflies kept fluttering in my tummy...

When in the room, the friendly teacher, after the initial greetings, asked my daughter her name. After the initial silence, she looked up with an impish grin, her eyes gleaming with mischief and proclaimed “I’m Hanu!!!!!” I CRINGED and nudged her. She clarified in a louder voice..”I’m Hanuman, this is Sita-Ma(pointing towards me) and that’s Ravan (pointing towards my husband)”
The teacher, after a momentary pause, burst out laughing and commented “very imaginative..she's very fond of Ramayana, is she?”

Interviews for School No.3 and 4 are scheduled for next week.

Would you still say that my hypertension is unfounded???

Bibliography

Hanuman : The Monkey God. An important personality in the Indian epic Ramayana.

Ravan : The villain in the Indian epic Ramayana. His ten-headed persona fascinates my little girl

Sita-Ma : The wife of Sri Rama in the Indian epic Ramanayana.

Of Babas and Babies...

A mother of an almost three year old, life in the past three years has been a roller coaster ride of amazement, wonder, exasperation, anxiety and tests of innovation & imagination..

My little girl is a veritable chatterbox who, every morning, starts talking with her eyes closed, even before she’s fully awake…

She was an early speaker and by the time she was two years old, she just about repeated anything and everything she heard. So we had to become careful of what we uttered and self censorship was essential.

One fine morning, I heard her call out to my husband by his name instead of the usual ‘Baba’. And throughout the day it was repeated everytime she wanted to call out to her father. Asking her not to call him by his name was ignored.
Both my husband and I initially found it funny and sweet but realized that the habit HAD to be nipped in the bud. It was just NOT ACCEPTABLE!
But we were at a loss of how to go about it….because making it an issue and admonishing or scolding a two year old would be ineffective or worse, counter-productive.

A few days later an idea struck and I thought to myself…why not implement it….

I started calling my husband “Baba” making sure that my little lady got to hear it every time I called out. We stopped correcting her when she called her father by his name and decided to ignore it for the time being…
The little mimic that she had become, our strategy worked and “Baba” was what she resumed calling her Dad.
Well, all’s well that ends well, you would say.So very true…

But the twist in the tale is - I carried on calling my husband “Baba” and continue to do so till date… it's become habit!!
Bibliography - Baba : father